I’m in the business of helping people whittle their to-do lists down to what is really essential, and I’ve observed that this process would be much easier if whole chunks of work never landed on the to-do lists in the first place.
I’m referring here to things we have (sort of) committed to doing but aren’t actually doing…or are doing with stress, guilt or resentment…or are doing instead of other, more important things…or shouldn’t be doing ourselves at all.
Get the idea? It’s all that stuff. For the Covey fans amongst us, this is Quadrant 3 – (seemingly) Urgent but (actually) Not Important. We’re supposed to catapult these tasks and project from our lives, but it ain’t easy.
How about if we got a little better about not letting these things into our lives at all? How about if, on the front end, we put some better filters and controls in place?
I’m not talking about the whole be-grounded-in-your-personal-mission bit (though if you don’t have that going on, you’re bound to struggle). Today I just want to give you a few strategies to try out when your gut is telling you it’s probably too much:
When your boss asks you for another huge deliverable in a crunch week
“Wow. OK, here’s what I’m working on this week. Can you help me understand where this fits into the scheme? Is there something else that I can put on hold so I can shift my attention to this?”
(You’re not actually saying no to the request, but you will be able to say no to something else on the list – if your boss is reasonable and respectful!)
When you want to/need to do what’s being asked of you but can’t do a good job of it anytime soon
“Sure. Can we take a look at the timing for that? My week/My month is already chock-a-block, but with a little lead time I should be able to pull that off.”
(Again, you’re not saying no. You’re saying, “Yes, later.” Then be sure to do it when you say you will!)
When people keep dropping by/emailing to chat/plan/make requests
Don’t be available for the asking. Close your door if you have one. Disappear to a meeting room to get some work done. Put some headphones on. Post a funny sign announcing your ‘office hours.’ Create email-free zones in your work rhythm…and let them wait a bit.
(People will respect boundaries when you begin to establish them.)
When you care about the cause but are at your limit
“I would love to…but I just can’t.”
(This was core training for our pastor’s wife at pastor’s-wife-school. Sounds best when delivered in a U.S. Southern draaw-ul.)
When the job doesn’t require your unique fingerprint
“I bet _____ could do a good job of that/could produce a first draft of that for us/could handle the initial research. How about if I talk with him/her about kicking this off?”
(This is delegation, leadership and empowerment, all rolled into one. Good stuff.)
When the person you’re talking to would debate all your reasons for saying no
“No.”
(Then be quiet.)
When it’s only you with your to-do lists, and you realise you just can’t do it all
“What’s the worst thing that can happen if I don’t get this done on time/at all/perfectly? Can I live with that?”
(Talk it through with somebody who cares about you. Pray about it/Write a Journal about it/Meditate on it/Do a Mind Map on it until your thoughts are untangled. Make the hard choices. Then let it go.)
…Well, that was easy, wasn’t it? Yeah, right…
Remember this: every time you keep the wrong stuff from hitting your to-do list, your odds of getting the right stuff done go up big time. That feels good…good enough to try saying “No” a bit more often, perhaps.
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