Coffee Break: A Simple Reminder System

Today my 7-year old has a suggestion for anybody whose reminder system is not quite up to speed.

Simply post a small sign near your workstation like this one: Remembertoremember

It says, "Remember to Remember."

Why didn’t I think of that?

7 Ways to Say NO

yes-no-buttonsI’m in the business of helping people whittle their to-do lists down to what is really essential, and I’ve observed that this process would be much easier if whole chunks of work never landed on the to-do lists in the first place.

I’m referring here to things we have (sort of) committed to doing but aren’t actually doing…or are doing with stress, guilt or resentment…or are doing instead of other, more important things…or shouldn’t be doing ourselves at all.

Get the idea? It’s all that stuff. For the Covey fans amongst us, this is Quadrant 3 – (seemingly) Urgent but (actually) Not Important. We’re supposed to catapult these tasks and project from our lives, but it ain’t easy.

How about if we got a little better about not letting these things into our lives at all? How about if, on the front end, we put some better filters and controls in place?

I’m not talking about the whole be-grounded-in-your-personal-mission bit (though if you don’t have that going on, you’re bound to struggle). Today I just want to give you a few strategies to try out when your gut is telling you it’s probably too much:

When your boss asks you for another huge deliverable in a crunch week

“Wow. OK, here’s what I’m working on this week. Can you help me understand where this fits into the scheme? Is there something else that I can put on hold so I can shift my attention to this?”

(You’re not actually saying no to the request, but you will be able to say no to something else on the list – if your boss is reasonable and respectful!)

When you want to/need to do what’s being asked of you but can’t do a good job of it anytime soon

“Sure. Can we take a look at the timing for that? My week/My month is already chock-a-block, but with a little lead time I should be able to pull that off.”

(Again, you’re not saying no. You’re saying, “Yes, later.” Then be sure to do it when you say you will!)

When people keep dropping by/emailing to chat/plan/make requests

Don’t be available for the asking. Close your door if you have one. Disappear to a meeting room to get some work done. Put some headphones on. Post a funny sign announcing your ‘office hours.’ Create email-free zones in your work rhythm…and let them wait a bit.

(People will respect boundaries when you begin to establish them.)

When you care about the cause but are at your limit

“I would love to…but I just can’t.”

(This was core training for our pastor’s wife at pastor’s-wife-school. Sounds best when delivered in a U.S. Southern draaw-ul.)

When the job doesn’t require your unique fingerprint

“I bet _____ could do a good job of that/could produce a first draft of that for us/could handle the initial research. How about if I talk with him/her about kicking this off?”

(This is delegation, leadership and empowerment, all rolled into one. Good stuff.)

When the person you’re talking to would debate all your reasons for saying no

“No.”

(Then be quiet.)

When it’s only you with your to-do lists, and you realise you just can’t do it all

“What’s the worst thing that can happen if I don’t get this done on time/at all/perfectly? Can I live with that?”

(Talk it through with somebody who cares about you. Pray about it/Write a Journal about it/Meditate on it/Do a Mind Map on it until your thoughts are untangled. Make the hard choices. Then let it go.)

…Well, that was easy, wasn’t it? Yeah, right…

Remember this: every time you keep the wrong stuff from hitting your to-do list, your odds of getting the right stuff done go up big time. That feels good…good enough to try saying “No” a bit more often, perhaps.

Coffee Break: Skype WeeMee

You know what they say about ‘All work and no play,’ right?

OK, so for the sake of being not-dull I’ve created a new category on this oh-so-serious blog called Coffee Break (Just For Fun)!

I needed an excuse to tell you that if you haven’t created your WeeMee on Skype, ya just gotta do it. Talk about a totally entertaining and mindless diversion!

Here’s how: Open Skype and choose File > Personalise > Change Your Picture > Build your free WeeMee.

Highly recommended. Here’s mine:
Kl_weemee
Pinstriped trousers and a purple jacket: Yeah, Baby! Well, it’s not exactly Austin Powers, but I do use Skype for business calls so decided to ditch the sequined boho top I picked first. I wouldn’t want people thinking I don’t know how to dress for success – ahem. I had accessorised with a PDA in my wee little hand at one point. It might make a comeback.

I was kind of wishing for WeeWeeMees in the ‘Interests’ area so I could put my kids in there too. Maybe that will come with the next Skype upgrade…

…Now, could somebody please tell me to get back to work?!

Legal Limits

Last week I was invited to facilitate a round-table discussion on time management for the Hong Kong Women Business Owners Club. What a treat it was to be part of an interactive conversation on one of my favourite topics!

We kicked off the meeting by having everybody write down a bullet-pointed list of what’s working well for them and what is not working so well. Then I asked everyone to share a highlight from their first list, being very specific about the tools and strategies they apply in order to achieve time management success. Here are some of the key points made:

People are finding balance by:

  • Creating a schedule of ‘office hours,’ even if they work from home
  • Closing the door to the office when they are not meant to be working
  • Shutting down the computer (rather than simply letting it fall asleep) during ‘off hours’
  • Not replying to email during non-office hours, to avoid conditioning clients to think we are always on/always available (Hint – you can queue messages to be sent at a later date or time.)
  • Not carrying a Blackberry (Yes, some people are still holding out on this one!)
  • Having one mobile phone for work and another for personal life
  • Keeping separate personal and professional email addresses
  • Hiring help at home and at work
  • Developing strong family relationships and friendships, making sure to enjoy time with loved ones
  • Maintaining a solid system of task and project lists
  • Making a ‘To Do Today’ list with just a few key items on it
  • Going easy on themselves when they’ve worked all day to stay focused on a task/project but needed to give time to other priorities instead
  • Using travel time for quiet reflection, catching up on reading, making phone calls or organising lists + schedules
  • Blocking time on a calendar to work on projects rather than using lists alone

I found it fascinating how we repeatedly commented on the importance of setting boundaries in our lives in order to feel good about where our time goes. This is, of course, much easier said than done.

It’s hard to set boundaries if we don’t have a clear sense of how we want to be spending our time. This means we do need to be organising our ideas and goals in order to balance them with the day-to-day work that never stops cropping up.

It’s also hard to set boundaries if we are not aware of the true limits of our time. This means we need to be making appointments with ourselves – not just with other people – so that our priorities are actually getting some air time. Putting a work block (e.g. on Tuesday from 10-1 to work on Project X) on the calendar helps you take control of your time. When someone calls to see if you can have lunch on Tuesday, you can either explain that you already have an appointment or you can look for another 3-hour block and reassign Project X so you can say yes to the lunch.

A few months ago I had a similar scenario happen in my life. My week was truly chock-a-block, and a potential client called to see if we could meet to discuss training options. As much as I wanted to meet at the time he proposed, I couldn’t rearrange anything on my schedule that week without shirking responsibilities to existing clients, disappointing family members or overdoing it physically by staying awake too late to catch up on work.

I could see all this at a glance because my week was already planned and time was blocked on my Outlook calendar (this advance planning takes less time than you may think!). So I took a deep breath and said, “I’m afraid my week is already at the ‘Legal Limit’, appointment-wise. Can we do it next week on Wednesday at 10:00?” Not only was this just fine with him, we ended up getting the contract, I didn’t lose any unnecessary sleep, and when I was standing in front of his team teaching about the importance of having – and sticking to – a weekly plan, I was able do it with integrity. Sitting there in the middle of the group, he knew it was real…and entirely possible.

I know from personal experience and observation of clients that it can be extremely difficult to establish boundaries in life. I think a lot of the trouble stems from fear of disappointing others or not having strategies for saying no effectively. More on that next time.

Until then – give it a shot. Try using the ‘Legal Limit’ explanation to say no sometime this week…and see what happens.